source  lordsofpain.net

TNA Impact Report for Thursday, February 18th:

By Ben Lopez, Senior Editor of The Absinthe Review Network

Hello again folks, and welcome to this week's TNA report! Will we finally
have some questions answered? How will the Pope address the crowd now
that he reined supreme in the 8-Card Stud Tournament?

As Impact opens, we see Bischoff stepping out of a limo talking on the
phone, possibly hinting that we may have a new acquisition?

We are shown a recap of the Against All Odds PPV, including Pope's PPV
win, and Bischoff's reluctance to count 3 for AJ/Flair.

The Pope struts to the ring in style and announces that he is pimpin', and
overcame the obstacles to become the new #1 contender. He says the ones
standing in the way are AJ and...”Dick” Flair? He says he's going to walk
into the cage at Lockdown and be crowned the new world heavyweight
champion.

Pimpin' is cut short by Flair's music as AJ, Flair and no less than 17
valets come down the ramp. Flair snatches a mic and asks Pope if he can
read and write. He says if he could read he would know that the tag on
his suit said Armani. He goes on to explain that he was bling before
there was bling. Flair says he is exhausted from being with AJ's
entourage of women since last Sunday and sarcastically falls back on the
ropes, concluding with the fact that AJ is still the champ. Pope says you
can dress up a piece of crap, but at the end of the day he's still a piece
of crap. Flair fires back saying he's a street thug, and now he's hot. 
Pope babbles for a bit, and AJ is rather pissed saying he's a nobody going
nowhere, and shortly after, AJ and Flair begin a nasty beat down on the
Pimpin' One. He gets a leg snapped inside a steel chair followed up by
the Figure-4 Leg Lock as a reward for his speech, beating the Pope out of
him to lead into commercials.

We're back and the announce table explains that TNA is going to Monday
Nights starting March 8th!

Match #1: Daffney vs. Tara

Music hits and holy crap, Daffney is back and zombie hotter than ever! 
Her opponent is Tara and she's bringing it early on, but Daffney comes
back with a slap-tastic chop to the chest. They tussle back and forth,
and Daffney starts to yank Tara's hair, giving her a stiff kick to the
back. They head outside and she grabs a toolbox (toolbox, really?) from
under the ring and decks Tara with it, resulting in the DQ. She leads a
dazed Tara over to the announce table area, slaps a section of the guard
rail on her, and hits her repeatedly with a steel chair! Tara looks in
bad shape, and Dr. Stevie is suddenly out in the Impact Zone grabbing the
chair from Daffney.

Winner: Tara by DQ

Foley walks into Eric's office and apologizes for his performance on
Sunday, but surprisingly Bischoff says not to worry about it. He says in
fact he has someone to get him a brand new look and two designers come
over and start taking his measurements. He dismisses them to, uh, go
shopping. He happily waves them off, but as soon as Foley is gone, he
gets on the phone and his expression changes to a stern one, demanding to
see Abyss in his office immediately as Spike TV brings forth the
commercials.

Big Sexy arrives at the Impact Zone, and he doesn't look happy.

Match #2: Orlando Jordan vs. Samoa Joe

As Joe's music hits, he is shown backstage and Bischoff is asking him why
he couldn't get the job done on Sunday before going to the ring.

Joe manhandles Orlando into a corner and begins annihilating Jordan to
spawn a “Joe's gonna kill you” chant. Joe gets a 2-count and he's not
even out of breath. Jordan gets to his feet and comes back with a
spinebuster on Joe! Drops a knee to get a 1-count. A bit of back and
forth, and out of nowhere Jordan pins Joe?! A match that started off
looking like a squash match in favour of Joe suddenly turned into a squash
match against him, and the crowd can't believe it.

Winner: Orlando Jordan

Abyss is shown heading to Eric's office looking incredibly nervous asking
JB if things are going to be ok...

As Impact resumes, Bischoff says he told Abyss what would happen if he
didn't use the bat in his match on Sunday. Abyss says he used tacks, but
Eric says he asked him to use the bat instead, declaring it's going to
cost him his mask. Abyss begins to plead, but Bischoff is relentless and
says the unmasking will take place tonight.

Eric Young is backstage and says he knows Hall and Pac are in the
building, and looks damn serious saying it.

Eric is out of his office and is walking toward Jarrett with a barb wire
bat. Eric says he was disappointed the the bat wasn't used on Sunday, so
he wants him to use it against Abyss tonight. He says instead of
reminiscing in the back, he needs to get the job done tonight...

Match #3: 8 Man Tag: Doug Williams, Spanky, and Motor City Machine Guns
vs. Generation Me, Amazing Red and Kazarian!

Kaz walks to the ring and the crowd goes crazy at his “return”! A bunch
of quick tag outs and fast pins in the early going, I can hardly keep up. 
Sabin and Max are going at it, then Red tags in, gets some hits in, and
then it's Doug Williams, champ vs former champ, Red getting the best of
him and nails a spinning kick. Dual missile dropkick on the Guns from
Amazing Red, followed by a flip dive to the floor. A series of TNA chants
break out and the Impact Zone is on their feet! Kaz with a quick hit and
a pin on Doug Williams out of nowhere! That's a lot of action jam-packed
into a 5/6 minute match. I managed to cover about 1/10th of the action;
classic X-Division match.

Winners: Amazing Red, Kazarian, and Generation Me

Abyss tries to escape backstage, but Slick Johnson stops him saying him
his match is next.

Match #4: Abyss vs. Jeff Jarrett

Abyss walks to the ring looking worried. Jarrett comes out with no
entrance music as a part of Bischoff's resolve to start him at the bottom.
He is carrying the barb wire bat and it seems he has agreed to the plan
to take out Abyss. Early on we see some grappling, Abyss getting the best
of it, but dodges several hits and a answers with a flurry of moves,
sending Abyss back onto the ropes and Jarrett gives him a knee to the
back. Jarrett goes old school and gives the crowd a strut. They head
outside and Jarrett attempts to drive his head into a steel chair, but it
get reversed and Jarrett is down for the count. We see a shot of the bat
as they make their way back to the ring, and they down each other with a
double clothesline. Just before commercials hit, Bischoff steps out onto
the top of the ramp and looks on with his arms crossed.

We're back, and Bischoff is creeping closer to the ring. The crowd urges
Jarrett to use the bat. Jarrett ducks and hits the stroke, but after
grabbing the bat Jarrett shakes his head and throws it down. Eric gets on
the mic and says he knew he couldn't count on Jarrett. Tomko, Homicide,
Raven, Rhino and Desmond Wolfe storm the ring and beat down both men.

Winner: No Contest

Eric smiles uncontrollably and is about to unmask Abyss when Hogan's
music blasts. Bischoff looks like he's just been caught with his pants
down. Hogan tells Abyss to head to his office, and then turns his
attention to Bischoff...

As Impact returns, the segment just sort of falls off the face of the
planet and the ring is cleared for the next match.

Match #5: The British Invasion vs. Beer Money Inc.

Beer Money, huh. Haven't seen them for a few weeks now. Oh, and they
finally make mention of Rob Terry's Global Championship win.

Magnus starts things off, softening up his opponent for Terry, but before
even a minute had passed Magnus demands to be tagged back in and Terry
looks pissed at this, but does so anyway. Magnus gets dominated, and with
Beer Money on an unanswered roll, they make quick work of him and get the
pin.

Winner: Beer Money Inc.

Brutus Magnus gets on the mic and completely blames Terry despite him
being the one that was pinned. He said the belt should belong to him and
tells Terry to get lost, gifting a lil' face slap. Not a bitch slap, but,
you know, a lil' slap. In any case, Terry predictably answers back by
decking him and rolling out to bring us into commercial.

Abyss is pacing around in Hogan's office and is really pissed at him for
some reason. Apparently, he's sick of his shaky hands. He goes on to
make a Superman analogy, which somehow amounts to a parallel with
Hulkamania. Hogan takes off his Hall of Fame ring and says he destroyed
his body for 30 years to earn this ring. He says he can hardly get out of
bed in the morning. Hogan then gives Abyss the ring and tells him it will
make him 10 times the wrestler he ever was! Looks like someone's getting
a push, indeed!

Match #6: Daniels vs Kurt Angle

This match actually took me by surprise, as there wasn't a peep hyping it
up anywhere in the show.
Daniels, threw Angle into the corner and is relentless in his kicks. 
Angle fights out but is met with a brutal palm strike. Daniels tries
another move, but it is quickly turned around into an Ankle Lock
submission at about 3 minutes into the match for the tap out.

Well, guess that explains the lack of hype...

Winner: Kurt Angle

Angle's music is cut short and Angle says Mr. Anderson beat him at Against
All Odds. But that's not what pissed him off. He took off his dog tag
and explained the traditional military use, which sparked a long “USA”
chant. He goes on to explain that the last year and a half was very hard,
and goes out of character talking about the past things that legitimately
happened outside of wrestling, gets choked up, and has trouble going on. 
He said he prayed to God while in jail and asked him why this was
happening. After he was released, Angle said he met a lot of soldiers,
and one came up to him saying he believed in him, explaining that he was
the one who gave the dog tag to him. He read the inscription entitled
“Warrior” and it is very emotional.

Angle's point was that when he used that dog tag to cut him on Sunday, he
didn't just make him bleed, he made those proud soldiers bleed. Angle
said when he spit on him, he spit on those same soldiers and the USA. 
Angle then vows to make Anderson suffer, and Anderson's music hits. Stay
tuned...

When TNA returns, Anderson is very disrespectful making fun of Angle
choking up, and really twists the knife in the open wound. He tells Angle
to come get some! Angle makes his way up the ramp and looks like he's
hitting Anderson with full force, those didn't look like canvas-stomping
punches to me. But Anderson somehow lays him out instantly (a lot of
instant KOs tonight for some reason) and Anderson does his signature
double-name-dropping outro.

JB is back with Samoa Joe outside when a bunch of masked thugs bolt out of
a van and abduct Joe! JB is stunned.

Eric Young and Kevin Nash head to the...wait, this is seriously still the
main storyline? Anyway, Nash powers up with a mic and questions why he
chose Pac/Hall to be his friends so many years ago. Nash says he carried
their asses on his back for the last time. He beckons them to the ring
saying he's the gray-haired SOB in the middle of the ring. Can't miss him.
Lo and behold, they slink out to the floor slowly, but Young just flies
out of the ring and murders Pac. Hall flicks a toothpick in Nash's eye,
but Kevin still manages to ground him. Security steps in and Hogan is
seen at the top of the ramp. The show concludes with Nash yelling that
it's on next week!

That's great, maybe we can finally kill this storyline. Anywho, see you
folks here next week, same time, same place.